


a moment of weakness

by Acacius



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: & guillermo is completely unaware of this bc nandor has the emotional maturity of a zygote, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, Pining, Pre-Slash, Season 2 spoilers, also shout out to whatever poor soul had to ring up nandor's pillow purchase in 2x08, in which nandor is the lovesick one, shout out to wwdits for giving us the star-crossed lovers trope, this was my attempt at what happened lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:28:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24726760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acacius/pseuds/Acacius
Summary: This was all it was, Nandor reasoned with himself. Just one moment of weakness. Except that it kept happening. Time meant very little for an immortal but before he knew it, he couldn’t imagine a life without Guillermo by his side.Or: three times that Nandor revealed he cared for Guillermo more than what was proper for a vampire.
Relationships: Guillermo/Nandor the Relentless (What We Do in the Shadows TV)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 259





	a moment of weakness

**.**

**.**

**i.**

It was a very typical human thing, Nandor muses, how they are always bundling up in layers. The poor things, so full of warm blood but just one bad snowstorm away from freezing to death. Even Guillermo, who he thought was rather well-prepared for most situations—for a human—slipped up every now and then.

Perhaps that was why he reached to unclasp his own black cloak with a hiss, shrugging it over Guillermo’s shoulders before he even had the chance to react.

“I could hear your teeth chattering,” the vampire explained, voice dripping with annoyance as he invaded Guillermo’s personal space, crowding the man as he fiddled with the metal clasps. “It was _very_ distracting, Guillermo! Why didn’t you bundle up more?”

“I thought we weren’t going to be out long…” Guillermo trailed, flinching at the brush of Nandor’s hand against his neck. The vampire’s fingers were usually cold but thanks to being out in the frigid December night combined with having forgone a meal or two, Nandor’s flesh was as cold as ice.

Nandor frowned as he stepped away. “Once I find a suitable meal we can go back home. Help me look, Guillermo! It’d be a shame if you froze to death out here. Who would do all of our laundry if you died?”

“I’m sure Colin Robinson could figure something out since I don’t take care of his laundry,” Guillermo muttered, following after his master with some difficulty. The cloak, while warm and insulated with fur, was also tailored for a man much taller than him. Almost a foot of excess fabric trailed behind him, the extra layer much heavier than Nandor made it look. It took genuine effort to follow the vampire due to the weight of the cloak and along with how slippery the ground was, Guillermo couldn’t do anything but pray that he didn’t collapse face-forward like a fool as he tried desperately to keep up with Nandor’s pace.

He let out a sudden yelp as he did the one thing he was terrified of accidentally doing: tripping forward. The extra fabric of the cloak pooled at his feet as he lost control of his center of gravity, arms flailing at his sides. Guillermo squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself for impact with the cold, slippery ground. Instead, he collided firmly with Nandor’s chest, the vampire’s arms encircling him almost on reflex.

Nandor gave a disapproving look as he pulled away, the beginning of a long-winded lecture dying on his tongue when he really looked at Guillermo. The cold had turned his skin a lovely shade of pink and his own hot puffs of breath were fogging up his round glasses. Flakes of snow had sprinkled into his hair despite the beanie he wore and he looked so achingly human that the vampire fought briefly between the urge to kiss him or devour him. Doing neither, he averted his gaze almost immediately, cursing silently to himself.

He was Nandor the Relentless, not some lovesick puppy! And yet… he couldn’t find it within himself to be mad at Guillermo even if it was due to his fragile human body that they were still only a few blocks away from their house and not anywhere near the bustling cityscape where Nandor could more easily find prey.

“…I suppose you can hold onto my arm. If you fall and hurt yourself that would reflect poorly on me,” the vampire snapped, waiting expectantly, one arm outstretched.

Guillermo quickly fumbled to hook his arm with Nandor’s, a small smile slipping across his face. “S-sorry that you have to do this, Master. But I appreciate it.”

Nandor gave a noncommittal grunt in return, slowing his steps so his familiar could keep up. He only glanced at Guillermo from the corner of his eye, but the look of contentment on his face, the way the man kept idly touching the cloak with his free hand… it warmed his ice cold heart. Metaphorically, of course since he’d been undead for a long, long time now.

“I expect you to clean the cloak before you return it, Guillermo.”

“Of course, Master.”

* * *

**ii.**

The woman, whose name was coincidentally Carol, stared rather suspiciously at the tall man wearing a cape.

It was around thirty minutes before the store was set to close so of course that meant the weirdest customers would come strolling in.

“Good evening, _Miss Cash Register Attendant_ ,” the man said, his unique accent softening his otherwise imposing figure. “May I come into this establishment?”

Her opinion of him changed almost immediately—he was polite enough to ask if he could come in, which was rare. Carol assumed he had actually bothered to read the sign on the door listing the store’s hours.

“…Sure. Just know we do close in thirty minutes.“

The man stepped through the automatic doors, sighing in relief. “Wonderful. I am only here to retrieve a pillow for my familiar.”

Carol cocked her head to the side. She would probably regret asking the question, but it had been a relatively slow shift. The least she could do was indulge in her own curiosity about the strange man whose accent she couldn’t quite place. “Familiar? Like as in a family member?”

The man wrinkled his nose in disgust. “No, I am not related to Guillermo. He is merely an ungrateful servant. I’m buying him a pillow for beating off purposes.”

Carol felt her eye twitch at the comment. It wasn’t the weirdest thing she had heard—working retail was literal Hell on earth—but it was so absurd that she couldn’t help but think that the man was being genuine, if not a tad overzealous in his over sharing.

“Pillows are in aisle C5,” the woman replied, pointing in the general direction of the small selection of pillows. She only stared briefly at the man’s sharp teeth as he gave a bright grin. Body modifications were becoming more and more prevalent nowadays, after all, and New York did often attract the eccentric. Weirdly enough, Carol thought that the fangs actually suited him.

“I will find the _best_ pillow for beating off purposes and then Guillermo will have to come back home!” he exclaimed, dark eyes twinkling with more mirth than Carol thought appropriate for a man buying a pillow for his ‘servant.’

As the man disappeared into the aisle, Carol busied herself with wiping down the counter, only vaguely aware of a group of teens loudly entering the store. They laughed raucously as they fiddled with random baubles and trinkets, carelessly discarding the items onto the floor when they were done inspecting them.

“Hey, hey, hey!” The strange man said, suddenly appearing at the mouth of the aisle, pointing an accusatory finger at the trio of teens who were currently knocking office supplies off the shelf like maladjusted feral cats. “Knock it off with the horseplay! This is not a stable and,” Nandor paused, squinting to read the woman’s name-tag. “Carol is not a stable-hand! If you apologize now you will be shown mercy.”

“What the hell is up with this freak?” One of the teens muttered, obviously more confused than scared.

The ringleader of the group, a teen whose face practically screamed privileged asshole, snickered. “Hey man, you’re a bit early for Halloween. You should put that cape back in your attic.”

Nandor frowned deeply. “Do not try and order _me_ around, you gross, pubescent human. Put those items back where they belong and apologize to Carol for your insolence.”

“What if we don’t want to?” the leader goaded, clearly unimpressed by every word coming out of Nandor’s mouth.

"Clean up this mess," the vampire commanded.

Wordlessly, the trio obeyed, stooping to pick up every misplaced item. Within five minutes the shelves were back in order and Carol could only watch on in awe as the man snapped his fingers, seemingly pulling the three teens' attention back on him.

Nandor pointed to the exit door. “Now, go dunk your heads into the nearest toilet. Not the toilets in this establishment, but the closest toilets nearby. And don’t ever come back here. Fucking teenagers...”

The teens shuffled out of the store like zombies, completely under the vampire’s enthrallment. Once they were gone, Nandor flashed a wide grin and gave Carol two thumbs-up.

“…How did you do that?” Carol asked, only stepping back slightly when Nandor strolled up to the cash register, a rather fluffy-looking pillow in hand. He looked triumphant as he handed it to the woman.

He made a great show of looking around the store and, satisfied that they were the only two left, leaned in and whispered excitedly. “It was hypnosis! Usually I’m quite bad at hypnotizing humans, but it worked out well this time.”

Carol, now nearing the end of a twelve-hour shift, wondered faintly if this was all some weird fever dream. Maybe she had slipped and hit her head at some point and this was all a byproduct of too many long hours and a possible traumatic brain injury. Regardless of whether or not the man before her was real or a figment of her imagination, she didn’t really feel any fear even as he grinned further and pointed at his fangs. Unfortunately, Carol had dealt with much more unsavory folk in her years working as a cashier. This man, no matter how bizarre he was, didn’t signal any serious red flags. He had helped get those kids out of the store before they could cause any real damage so that made him safe in her book as far as Carol was concerned.

“These are _real_ fangs,” he said proudly. “I’m a vampire. Oh, but do not worry, I don’t really like eating on the go. I prefer to have people brought over to my house and then I eat them, if it’s possible. So you’re safe.”

“…Thank you?”

“You’re quite welcome. Now, what do I owe for this pillow? I made sure to bring money from my money dish with me.”

“Umm…”

The possible vampire started patting down his pockets until he pulled out a coin purse. Carol’s eyes widened at the sight of what looked like gold, ancient coins—definitely not currency that she could put in the register.

“You can have it for free,” she explained quickly, handing him the pillow in a black plastic bag. “It’s a thank you for helping me with those boys. I’ll actually be able to close up the store on time now.”

The man bowed deeply. “You are a very generous person. I will not forget this act of kindness, human named Carol.”

“Good luck!” Carol called out just as the man passed the threshold of the store, giving the man a thumbs-up. “I hope your, uh, familiar comes back to you.”

“Me too,” Nandor smiled, tucking the gift underneath his arm.

Once outside, Nandor turned to the cameras, a conspiratorial smile on his lips. “I stole the idea of making the human boys flush their stupid heads in the toilet from Nadja. It’s surprisingly fun to watch.”

He tilted his head to the side, one hand reaching up to stroke his beard as he suddenly became deep in thought. “Hmm… perhaps I should have drank the blood of those boys; I spent all night trying to get Guillermo to come home and now I’m famished.” His eyes lit up hopefully as he spied the most delicious looking person that was part of the camera crew. “Say, Camera Man #2, do you think you could come over here and put your neck in my mouth?”

* * *

**iii.**

Nandor is tired.

There is an ache that settles just above his heart as if he had been speared by one of Guillermo’s stakes but he doesn’t have the energy to dwell on the feeling.

The bus ride was unnervingly silent, none of the vampires quite ready to simply flit off on their own as a bat after the night’s revelation. They had been actively hunted by the Vampiric Council and it had been Guillermo—sweet, clumsy, occasionally speaking-in-tongues ex-familiar—who had kept them safe.

They also knew now that he was covered in vampire blood, wooden stakes and vials of holy water tucked discreetly underneath his beige trench coat. It was a strange adjustment, Nandor thought, now knowing what he did. There was a flash of fear that he had to stamp out purposefully whenever Guillermo got too close—something he had gotten better at hiding ever since he found Guillermo poised over Carol’s ashen remains.

Still, he did not like feeling afraid. He did not like feeling as if there was always a lion in the room. He did not like thinking of Guillermo as a lion, as something predatory, as something that could end his otherwise immortal life with very little effort.

(And, some horrible part of him wondered if he’d even fight back. Guillermo had pressed two sharp stakes to his chest and he hadn’t even been able to lift a hand against his familiar.)

Their dynamic had been rewritten, shifted into something without very clear borders. Guillermo was a vampire slayer who wanted to be a vampire and Nandor was a vampire without a familiar. There was no way for their roles to return to what they once were. Boundaries had been blurred a countless number of times, so much so that Nandor had often thought of Guillermo simply as his friend rather than a familiar within the safe confines of his own mind. But now? What was Guillermo? A friend? A vampire slayer? His ex-familiar? And what did he want Guillermo to be?

Nandor was unsure if he had an answer for any of the questions that currently plagued him. 

For the first time in eleven years with Guillermo as his familiar, Nandor undressed himself, only asking for assistance when it came to brushing out his hair. Guillermo, who had stood quietly in the corner of Nandor’s room looking almost as skittish as the first night he took on his familiar duties, was at the vampire’s side in an instant, the wooden brush heavy in his hand.

He brushed out Nandor’s hair with the same practiced gentleness and precision, neither speaking as he combed through a few errant strays with his own hand, stepping back to signal that he was done with the task.

Nandor paused, letting out an unnecessary huff as he climbed into his own coffin without assistance, the sting of waking up for the last week without Guillermo at his side still leaving him more emotionally vulnerable than he would like. Something dark flickered in Guillermo’s eyes at the sight of the vampire laying down in his fur-lined coffin, but it disappeared the moment Nandor beckoned him closer.

“Guillermo?” he asks hesitantly, peering over the edge of his coffin. “Would you mind staying until I fall asleep?”

Something like relief crosses Guillermo’s face as he nods, flecks of vampire blood still coating his cheek. For a brief moment, Nandor entertains the idea of wiping the blood off himself, right hand held delicately in the small space between them, but he hesitates, dropping his hand back to his side.

“Thank you, Guillermo. For everything.”

“Of course... Nandor.” Guillermo smiles then and reaches for the coffin lid. Before he could close the coffin, Nandor’s hand shot out, gently grasping his wrist.

The vampire could feel Guillermo’s accelerated pulse, the thin layer of skin above his arteries warm and soft to the touch. Nandor could practically smell the anxiety wafting from his ex-familiar and it bothered him much more than he’d ever admit aloud.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Guillermo.”

“I know.”

“And I know you won’t harm me,” Nandor says, letting go of Guillermo’s wrist. “Get some rest. We’ll figure everything out tomorrow night. What matters is that you’re home… even if you left us to do our laundry all by ourselves. That was really rude, you know!”

“I know,” Guillermo replied, fighting off a chuckle. He closed the coffin lid and snuffed out the lights, his tired steps echoing in the small room. Nandor fell asleep to the sound of Guillermo’s heartbeat.

When he wakes the next night, Nandor opens the coffin slowly, surprised to see Guillermo sound asleep on the chaise lounge, bloodied trench coat spread across his sleeping form. He had assumed Guillermo would go back to his own room or even take one of the sofas out in the living room. It was almost touching, really, that Guillermo could fall asleep in his presence, even after all that had happened that night.

Ever so softly, Nandor disembarks from his coffin, taking the trench coat and placing it over the back of the sofa with a grimace. He then drapes one of his animal furs across Guillermo. Nandor dips his head low, inhaling deeply. Beneath the scent of dried vampire blood he could smell the still-tempting scent of Guillermo’s blood. The ache from the silver burns across his torso throb as he opens his mouth, fangs lengthening, gaze fixed to the exposed column of Guillermo’s throat.

If it were anyone else, any other human sleeping so vulnerably in his room, fresh blood pooling deliciously in their pink cheeks, Nandor doubted he would have managed to hold back in his injured state. But this is Guillermo and just the mere thought of doing anything to hurt him was enough to make the vampire immediately lose his appetite. Instead, he indulges himself with running a hand through Guillermo’s dark locks, marveling at the softness of his hair.

Guillermo unconsciously leans into the touch, lips pulling into a small smile.

They’d be alright, Nandor thought, eventually returning to his coffin. Guillermo was back home... and he had to believe it was for good this time.

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: so that finale, huh? i'm still processing everything but god i've never been more sure that nandor is absolutely lovesick for guillermo & is just too emotionally stunted to realize and/or deal with it. 
> 
> anyway, hope y’all enjoyed :3c kudos and/or comments are my lifeblood so thank u in advance xoxo


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